she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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