Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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