Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
