i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
