Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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