i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
