She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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