Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
