yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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