there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
