Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
