we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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