there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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