the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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