I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
