It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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