Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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