Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
