my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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