Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
