***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
