I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
