i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
