Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
