I wish you could order shots online.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
