their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
