he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish you could order shots online.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
