youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
