well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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