They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
