Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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