Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
