Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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