So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
