Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
