So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
