sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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