i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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