I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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