We named our party play list daddy issues
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
