The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
love makes seman taste better
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
