why didn't you poke me back
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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