We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
