did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
