we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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