you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
