drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
