Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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