OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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