Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I DEMAND FORESKIN
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
